Running the wrong way

My husband and I had a bet for a few months that he could not run a mile in 8 minutes.  I don’t know how it originated, but he made the statement, I scoffed, and a bet was born.  Now, my husband is not a runner, nor is he into any kind of exercise.  He plays hockey (on roller blades) once a week and that is it.  Most of the time he ends up skating for a minute or two and then clutching the net trying to catch his breath.  So you can see why I thought there was no way he could run a mile in under 8 minutes.

We mentioned the bet to our friends one day and they egged us on until we set a date for him to run.  So last week we finally made our way down to the high school track to prove who was right.  Our friends were there with their son, and silly girl and my buddy got ready to run with us. I set the timer on my iphone and spreadsheet guy took off.

My friend and I were running as well and we looked at each other and said there was no way he could maintain that pace.  We were right.  He made it around the track completing his first lap quickly, but then had to walk.  At this point I was walking as well.  I had to walk with silly girl who was upset because the boys took off and teased her that she was last.  So I watched spreadsheet guy walk for a while and then start running again.  At this point I was sure I would win this bet.

Did I mention he NEVER runs?

He went back and forth, running and walking.  He had about a minute and a half left and one lap to do.  My friend was yelling the remaining time.  Her husband took off running, caught up with spreadsheet guy and started telling him he could do it and at the end (with about 30 seconds left) told him to sprint.

He made it.  I was  pissed.  I run every day and actually eat right and do other exercise and he just hops on the track and runs a mile in under 8 minutes?  What the hell?   I tried to argue that it didn’t count because he didn’t run the whole time.  He walked and sprinted.  So technically he didn’t run an 8 minute mile. But our friends agreed he did it, so I just ended up looking bitter.  Which I was.

Luckily, my buddy had soccer practice, so there wasn’t much time for him to gloat. They had to leave as soon as he was done running.  This gave me time to try to stop being such a jerk and just accept that he did it.  I was proud of him, but I  couldn’t swallow my pride enough to tell him until later that night.

I headed to a running store with my friend and silly girl to get fitted for running shoes.  I had never been fitted and after I ran 10 miles the previous weekend my foot was killing me.  I wanted to make sure I was wearing the right kind of shoe.  My friend is getting ready to do a couch to 5k and wanted to get fitted for shoes as well.

When we got there, they had us run for them so they could observe our stride and how we landed on our feet.  Well, my friend who never runs apparently has a perfect stride.  I, on the other hand am a mess.

First, I ran for the employee that was helping me.  He told me my stride is too long and I am landing on my heels.  I am also pronating on my left foot.  Then he asked another employee to watch me run.  She said the same things, and then the employee helping me said “…and? ” .  She looked at him and said “let’s not overwhelm her”.  What?!   OMG.   I stood there, in shock.  My friend was cracking up.   Second time that day I felt like an idiot.  First my husband wins the bet by running a mile in 7:45, and then I am told I am an awful runner.

Anyway, I am normally wear New Balance running shoes, but I was fitted in a pair of Brooks.  I like them so far.  Hopefully they can help me develop into someone who looks like a runner and not like the crazy cat lady from the Simpsons running down the street.

Been gone a while

So, yeah.  I haven’t written in a while.  I know all three of the people who read this were very disappointed.  Things have just been so busy.  I have been trying to figure out how to balance it all. 

I am not sure if I need to work out a better schedule in order to make sure I get everything done, but I kind of feel like I am running in quicksand.   Working full-time,  raising two 6 year olds, and trying to keep a house running have become increasingly difficult.   Now that the kids have homework every night on top of their activities, our nights are chaotic to say the least. 

The kids are only in first grade.  I can check their homework in 5 minutes.   Easy, right? Then I  sit and read with each of them most nights.  They have reading logs they keep for school, and I need to make sure they reading enough books.   If they don’t read enough, they don’t get their “prize” at the end of the month. 

Congratulations! You won a certificate for a night on the toilet. I mean a personal pan pizza!

They are each in soccer and my daughter has gymnastics one night a week.  That’s it.  We don’t have them in a million different things, we are just trying to let them experience different activities.  I  have the added guilt brought on by the fact that a lot of my children’s classmates mothers stay at home.  This means they are at the school volunteering on a pretty regular basis. 

I try to explain to my kids that I simply cannot be at the school for reading from 1:15-2:00 every Monday and Wednesday, or there during the day to help with the student store, but I don’t think they quite get it yet.  My daughter was upset last week because I wasn’t there to see her at the school’s “fun run”.  She said she was the only one without a parent present.  I’m certain this is not true, but I’m also pretty sure it felt that way to her.  So, even though we paid $70 for each of them to get a t-shirt and participate in the fund-raiser, in her eyes, we didn’t do anything. 

So on top of working/disappointing my children, I am  trying to run or do some sort of exercise every night after work.  Not only do I try to run to keep in shape, but I need it mentally.  I am pretty tightly wound, and I need the release.  I am also signed up to run a half marathon with my brother-in-law. 

I need this shirt

I would like to be able to finish without throwing up or passing out – especially since I am running it at “home” and of course in my mind everyone will be watching me.  Forget the thousands of other people running, all eyes will be on yours truly.

 

The problem is now my release is causing me more stress.  I have been  getting my workouts/runs in after work.  But then I have to check homework, make dinner,  try to get some cleaning in, spend time with my kids and my husband, pack lunches/snacks for the kids, and pack my lunch for the next day. 

Me, at the end of the day

 So, is there a better time for me to run so I have the entire evening to get everything done?  Maybe I should just sacrifice some sleep and switch back to my morning runs?  I did that for a long time, and I managed to get my runs in, but I was so tired by the end of the week and I  looked haggard.  Not to mention my appetite was crazy all morning and I would end up eating a lot of snacks to hold me over until lunch. 

Good run this morning. I’m hungry again

source

 Maybe my standards are too high?  I want the house clean and tidy, I want nice meals with my family each night and I want to look like this when I go to work:

Silly girl. You can’t afford this suit.

Instead, the house gets cleaned on a “dirty enough to embarrass me” schedule, I am making my kids tacos and tater tots at least once a week and I look like this when I go to work:

 

what's going on with my eyebrow? I have no idea

 Please try not to be jealous of my awesome iPhone photo taking skills.  Maybe one day you will master the art of making a light grey suit look pink.  Oh, and did I mention I work in Health Insurance? Yeah.  I get to tell people how much more they are going to pay each year.  Now you are even more jealous, huh?   

 

I should be happy about the fact that I have a job, I have healthy, happy kids and these are the things I stress about.  I know that, but I just wonder how everyone else does it.  What do you “let go” of?  What is the compromise that helps people feel like they are keeping up?  How do you let go of the guilt?  Or do most people feel this way? 

What would you do?

I am typically the kind of person who follows the rules.  OK, I pretty much ALWAYS follow the rules.  I can’t help it.   I have always been this way.   I get annoyed when people drive the wrong way in a parking lot, go in an out-door, or do things that make it clear they do not feel rules apply to them.  So last night I ran into a little problem.  I was driving silly girl home from gymnastics and we were almost home when I drove up a ramp after exiting the highway and stopped at a red light.  I needed to make a left turn, so I put my turn signal on and waited.

And waited.

Yep, I'm still red

And waited.

Yeah, now I'm just messing with you

It had been NINE minutes.  NINE.  I was on the phone with my sister (hands free) and she was laughing at me.  I wasn’t sure what to do.  At this point a line was forming behind me on the ramp.  I travel this route constantly and I never sat at that light that long before.  Plus, there was still a decent amount of traffic zooming by across the road in front of me.   The girl behind me actually got OUT of her car, ran across the road and pushed the button for a green light.  Nothing.  Cars started cutting across the ramp to get to the right turn lane and just going that way.

My sister was telling me to just go, but it wasn’t really safe.  Plus, my daughter was in the car and I didn’t want her to think it was OK to go on red.  I tried flashing my headlights at the sensor, but nothing happened.

It was past the point of being ridiculous.  I had to get silly girl home to get her ready for bed and it was after 8:00.  So, once there was no traffic on the road in front of me, and I quadruple checked for safety, I went.  I never did see the light change.  I HATED having to do that, but other than just hanging out on the ramp all night, I didn’t really see an option.

How long would you wait before you just went?

First week of school

School started this week.    I cannot believe my children are old enough to be in 1st grade already.   We had back to school night on Monday.  I always dread those things.  It is like I am back in school again.  I don’t know about other areas, but here it seems that there are a lot cliques and parents who consider themselves the “cool crowd” and they are not afraid to act like it.  It is frustrating.  Especially for a nerd like me who still gets anxious at staff meetings that include lunch because I don’t know who I am going to sit with in the cafeteria.

Anyway, I’d like to thank the guy in the school parking lot who gave me a good laugh as we headed in.  As we approached the front door of the school, a huge black truck was trying to back into a parking spot.  It took him about 20 tries to get the truck lined up. 

One more try

The most awesome part?  He was blasting “Regulators” the whole time.  With the windows down.  

Classic

Now, I know Regulators is a great song, some may even say it is a classic.  Heck, it was one of the most popular songs out there my senior year of high school (I’m old).  But when you are taking an hour to back your massive truck into a parking spot in front of your child’s elementary school, maybe turn it down a bit so everyone, including people in the neighborhood next to the school can’t hear the song you are listening to.  I guess he wanted to share with everyone.  

RIP Nate Dogg. I'll pour out some Skinny Girl Margarita for you later

I can’t tell you how excited I was to find a picture of him wearing a Steelers T-shirt.  That’s what happens when you grow up in Pittsburgh. 

On another note, I heard this on the radio this morning, and though it was perfect for the first week of school.  

This is a joke (even though it has been attributed to several schools) but I wish this really was on the answering machine at every school.    

 

 
Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent – Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his work – Press 2

To complain about what we do – Press 3

To swear at staff members – Press 4

To ask why you didn’t get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you – Press 5

If you want us to raise your child – Press 6

If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone – Press 7

To request another teacher, for the third time this year – Press 8

To complain about bus transportation – Press 9

To complain about school lunches – Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behaviour, class work, homework and that it’s not the teachers’ fault for your child’s lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!

If you want this in another language, move to a country that speaks it.

Thank you for your interest in public education.

Brilliant.

Some Advice

Image via Wikipedia

If you are on a conference call and you are not the one speaking, put your phone on mute.  Nobody wants to hear you breathing into the phone for an hour.  Or coughing.  Or clearing your throat. Seriously.  

 Using 5 long synonyms in a row does not make you sound smart.  In fact, it makes you look like you don’t know the difference between any of the words and you are TRYING to sound smart.  Knock it off.  

Putting the words “per se” after every other sentence also makes you sound dumb.  Don’t do it.

 “Business Casual” does not include the following:

1. T-shirts
2. shorts
3. shirts that show your belly
4. flip-flops
5. jersey pants/stretch pants
6. earrings bigger than your head
7. Anything with tweety bird or tinkerbell on it (or any other cartoon character)
    

Extra NO if it says "attitude" or "sassy"

 

Don’t brag to your coworkers about how much money you spend.  Most of us in similar jobs have an idea about how much you make.  You aren’t fooling anyone.

If something isn’t working for you, and it is working for everyone else, chances are you are doing something wrong.  Don’t complain about how dumb it is because IT doesn’t work. 

If you are taking the elevator from the first floor to the second floor then yes, those of us going to the sixth floor are all staring at you and cursing you under our breath.  If you aren’t carrying something heavy, or have some physical reason why you can’t walk the steps, walk.

 Is it just me, or do other people run into this every day at work?  All of this has happened just this week.